Thanks, Man!

I decided I would put together a list of stuff I was grateful for since the holidays are here. That's what we're supposed to be doing, right? Before I get caught up in the pagan side of the holiday season I thought I would compile my list before my perspective was skewed by searching for gifts and holiday road rage.


Here we go!


1. All the stuff we're supposed to be thankful for, that if we forgot them, we would be vilified. So that's spouse, children, parents, religious figurehead, yadda, yadda, yadda and ok....we're done.


OK. Good. Got that out of the way. Now for the cool stuff.


2. Pants that expand on the sides
3. Expandable top button on collared shirt
4. Clean opened ketchup bottle caps (or any condiment)
5. Comfortable shoes
6. Clean fork tines
7. Clever billboards and bumper stickers

8. People who smile
9. People who hold doors open for others
10. People who let you get in front of them in the express line when they see you just have 1 or 2 things and they have 12 things
11. People who never get in the express line with more than 12 things
12. People who exercise patience at the DMV or anywhere else you have to wait in line
13. People who speak up against impatient people acting foolish in public
14. People who stand up to bullying
15. Bulls who stand up to matadors
16. Christmas music
17. Good wine
18. Great scotch
19. Superior cigars
20. People who trust
21. People who listen
22. People you can trust to listen and not repeat it
23. Seats in cars with adjustable lumbar support
24. People who let you change lanes on highways instead of squeezing-up to block you
25. People who block the people racing up the right-hand breakdown lane to get ahead
26. People who remember to shut off their high beams
27. Person who invented high beams
28. People who use soap, water, deodorant and toothpaste
29. People who don't bathe in cologne
30. People who don't litter
31. People who pickup litter
32. People who pickup the people littering and give them a ticket

33. People who share
34. People who share stuff I really like
35. Fast acting pain relievers
36. The Neti pot (I'm bowing in worship right now)
37. Jokes that make your stomach hurt (John Gronnel)
38. Perfectly poured Guinness
39. Sloppy excess cheese on French Onion soup
40. Mute button
41. Caller ID
42. Strong coffee
43. Salsa with crazy ingredients
44. Big portions
45. Bigger napkins
46. Cup holders in places you don't expect them (can we get one on urinals at sporting events?)
47. Customer service people who get it
48. Home made food
49. Professionally made gifts

50. Any gift a kid makes

So that's my list. I could go on forever. Why don't you add some of your own? 

In all seriousness, happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Especially to anyone who cannot be with people who are important to them or are serving our country abroad. Be safe. Be at Peace.

Appreciation

Upon returning home from a five day work trip, my family treated me to a household favorite for dinner: tacos! My daughter's attitude is indifferent at best around tacos but not so for Jake. He could eat them every night and I have to agree with him.

What makes it work is the sharing of the ingredients. Everyone passing bowls of the seasoned beef, tomatoes, shredded cheese, lettuce, taco sauce, etc. Jake takes particular pleasure in the construction and then folding of his soft tacos. They don't always hold together but that's what plates, forks and a puppy are for, right? No, he doesn't believe in napkins. That's what sleeves are for, right?

I enjoyed my first night back home though sleep cornered me and resistance was futile. I was pressing sheets by 9:30. The next morning, my head cleared. Life slowed down enough for me to get off the express train and just be. No soccer practice or birthday parties. Just boring old home.

This is shaping up to be a real zinger of a blog, you must be saying to yourself. And before it's done, I might be grumbling that same thought. But I have to share something before you check out. As I settle back into the normal routines and responsibilities, I'm doing it just a little slower. With more purpose. Uhm, maybe the right word is focused.

Yes. The words "be here now" just keep echoing. I have to practice doing one thing at a time in the same way Jake has to practice tying his shoes and Casey working on math and spelling. I have a plaque with John Wooden's Pyramid of Success hanging on my office wall.

Wooden is the legendary UCLA Men's Basketball coach who passed away this year. His accomplishments on the court were routinely dwarfed by his impact on people. Wooden was a man of lessons. Many are attributed to him. In summary, he demanded that his players became the best they were capable. If you gave your very best, peace of mind and self-satisfaction would follow.

Wooden's top block on his pyramid is labeled "Competitive Greatness". Wooden states "Perform at your best when your best is required. Your best is required each day."

I would like to think I give my best every day, but I know I do not. I cannot. I am human. But what I can do is realize when I am not and call myself on it. That is why the week away was so invaluable to me. It was all about choice. I can choose to be great. I can choose to complain. I can choose to let it go. I can choose to fear changing the way I do things.

I think of the times I accomplished things. The times I broke away from the pack. The times I distinguished myself. Was it when I was complaining or blaming? Was it when I cowered before the barriers that existed in my mind?

For me, putting the past in the rearview mirror isn't always easy. I like to use it to inflict pain upon myself. And while that can be motivational in a negative way, it's probably not very effective for the long haul. I think I'll put the car in "D" and move forward.

Wow. Ever see a movie called "Night on Earth"? There's a great scene with a German cab driver named Helmut and his passenger Yo-Yo. Putting the car in "D" just reminded me of it. Helmut can barely drive his cab so his passenger takes the wheel driving from Times Square to Brooklyn. Classic scene. Here's a link: http://youtu.be/gdY24pZqAaw
There's a language warning here. Especially once Rosie Perez hits the scene! Watch the volume if there are kids or anyone offended by the "F" word in the room. That's my public service announcement obligation.

So, I'll wrap it up for you. When I slow down and look at what I've got and where I am, I can only say "thank you". Not sure who I'm thanking, but just a general one. I've got lots to be grateful for. Normally Pareto's 80/20 rule dominates our thinking. You know that one: 80% of our results come from 20% of our efforts.

You can use Pareto's law of the vital few to look at what we take for granted and what we whine about. We pick the little things and make mountains out of them. I love to rant about road rage, bad manners, lousy service and close-minded people. But when I take in the big picture, that stuff amounts to next to nothing. There's so much else that's good and worthy of my attention.

Someone gave me a great image last week. Imagine that you must extend your hand forward and hold a shard of broken glass in your hand. Now start to squeeze it. Hurts, doesn't it? So, do you want to keep squeezing even harder? No? Then open your hand and toss the glass over your shoulder. Just let it go.

Let it go, Rob. Let it go.

Blogger with a Crappy Attitude

I recently had the opportunity to spend some time with some attorneys. All I can safely comment about the experience was the artificiality of the entire affair. All the language, conversation and questions came across as a mockery, a pantomime of reality. The entire experience can best be described as disturbing.

You could point to my lack of understanding of law and legal proceedings as a reason for my opinion. I've been exposed to legal maneuverings and affairs over the last 18 years due to my profession. I can recall times when I felt uncomfortable with an attorney's decisions and apparent motives. Most often, I would chalk it up to "that's what they need to do to win".

But this week it felt different. It was tricky. It was deceptive. Above all it was as shallow as a sun shower puddle on an August afternoon. Feigned interest. Manufactured small talk. Listening to me only to wait an opportunity to jump into the conversation and argue.

I'm not painting all folks of the legal profession with this broad brush. I know and have worked with many straight-shooting, admirable and reputable counselors. Maybe that's what made this recent meeting so repugnant.

That could apply to just about anything. If my first Dunkin Donut experiences were only in my hometown D&D, I'd never go back to any location. But I know that one store is an anomaly. Service isn't always that pitiful. Customers' not coming first doesn't happen in every shop. Lazy-ass robot is not the hiring profile of the company based on other shops I've visited.

Responsibility: exchange my money for flavored water. Accountability: exchange my money for flavored water in a fast, friendly manner, not in a snooty, slow, disingenuous, erroneous manner. If it was the latter, I'd have to hold you accountable for that behavior, D&D guy/gal/location.

I stopped into a locally owned coffee and pastry shop one morning. What a breath of fresh air. Happy faces, lively and polite conversation, customer-focused. It was a breath of fresh air. Ok, no drive thru. But what's a couple extra minutes added to the trip and a short walk out of the car worth? Compared to the lazy-ass robot service, I'd say its worth a lot.

Accountable Blogging

I'm beginning to believe that blogging might not be my cup of tea. My understanding of blogging is that it ought to be frequent or at the very least regular. My sporadic submissions to The First Draught usually leave me feeling guilty. It's hard to tell who's really reading it but the idea that whoever might be reading it is disappointed when there's a large gap between entries. How vain, right?

The last several weeks tested my ability to schedule all the projects and responsibilities that are priorities. That meant that all the stuff I like to do, writing, the Letterman's Club, working in the yard – all of it took a back seat. The troubling part about it is I don't foresee anything slowing down anytime soon.

But that's all right. I've made choices and the results of the sum of those choices are mine. I own 'em. If I want to have time to do other stuff, it's my job to figure it out.
I read a news story about Connecticut Light and Power, the electricity provider coming under fire in CT for the slow restoration of power to its customers. The writer mentioned that President and CEO of CL&P Jeffrey Butler needed to be held accountable for his company's poor response. It didn't help his image when a news channel reported that an out-of-state company only sent a token number of crews to assist power line repair because CL&P hadn't paid them for their work during the August hurricane, Irene.

Butler's response came across as clumsy. Even though only a couple months had passed, people lined up to take shots at Butler and CL&P. I found that part comical. The number of citizens in this country who are late paying bills or don't pay them at all is staggering. There are thousands of collection and credit recovery agencies in the United States for a reason.

Let's be straight here. I'm not defending CL&P. But how many people who can't or don't pay their mortgage agreed with how poorly run CL&P is because they didn't pay a bill in 60 days? It was a $600,000 bill so I won't compare it to a $1,500 mortgage payment. But I'm guessing CL&P's monthly receivables are sizable when compared to a single residence. Or even a couple hundred households.

Accountable. The word continues to gain popularity over the past few years. It comes in all manner of flavors. Add these prefixes to accountability: personal, corporate, employee, political, parental. The line that is drawn that makes it all clear lies between responsibility and accountability. I read that responsibility is what you're supposed to do. Accountability is the manner in which you do it.

We're all responsible to pay our bills. Do you pay on time? Pay late? Don't pay? You're held accountable.

Businesses provide goods and services. Are they quality goods and services? Does it take a long time to get them? What happens if they break and need fixing? Replacing? Aren't as advertised? Answer "No" and you're held accountable.

Politicians run for office and make any number of promises. I stand for this. I stand for that. I'll never do this or that. What happens when they vote opposite to their promise? What happens when they never deliver on any of their promises? What happens when they don't even show up to vote because their attending a PAC event or went on vacation or are secretly meeting with their mistress? They need to be held accountable.

What happens when the blogger doesn't write regularly? Or produces crap just to publish something? The blogger should be held accountable.

Lastly, there are some towns or parts of towns that didn't have power on November 5^th and 6^th. Really? I spoke to a woman in her shop. She had had it. Her days of staying optimistic were over. She said you can only hold out for so long and then bitterness and anger set in. I couldn't argue with her. I was lucky I had somewhere to go where a generator was available.

I ran into a neighbor who was using a shelter regularly. He was grateful for the warm building, food and some TV to distract him from the fact power restoration was like a half-remembered dream. And how about people who can see power halfway down their street or the next street over? It's enough to make you want to rebel. Or even occupy something.
Occupy Torrington? Occupy CL&P? Sound fun?