#7 Gallup Poll

Riiing. Riiing.
Norman stared at the phone. He looked up at the wall clock. 8:40pm.
Riiing.
"Sheesh. How late do they think they can call?" he said out loud.
Riiing. Riiing.
"Why doesn't voicemail pick up?"
Riiing.
Silence followed. Norman smiled. "That should buy me another twenty-four hours at least."
Riiing. Riiing.
"Come on!" he shouted.
Norman got off the couch, grabbed the phone and punched the 'Talk' button.
"Hello, Out Of Area. What can I do for you?"
A pause. Then, "Mr. Norman Painter?"
"Yes."
"Mr. Painter, I'm Mr. Vance from the Gallup Corporation. You may have heard of a Gallup Poll?"
"Yes. Yes I have."
"Well Mr. Painter, I'm sorry for calling so late but you've been selected to participate the latest Gallup Poll."
"I have? So what's it for?" Norman asked.
"Mr. Painter, our latest poll is concerned with leisure time. We're measuring what people prefer to do when they have free time. Time away from work, school and family for example."
"Huh," Norman grunted.
"So let's begin, Mr. Painter. What is your age, please?"
"Twenty-nine."
"Twenty-nine. Yes. How long have you lived at your current address?"
"Three months."
"Fine. How long did you live at your previous address?"
"About six months."
The line went quiet for a moment.
"Mr. Painter, do you always move so frequently?"
"Only in the last several years," Norman said.
"I see. Are you currently employed?"
"Not currently."
"Are you in school, then Mr. Painter? Some kind of technical training classes, maybe?
"No."
"Married?"
"No."
"Children or other dependants?"
"No."
"So, if I may ask, what are you doing with all your time, Mr. Painter"
"Watching TV mostly. Sometimes I go online and stuff. I sleep whenever I want"
"Mr. Painter," Vance's voice gained some volume, "are you ill? Have you been to the hospital recently?"
"Uh, no."
"I'm confused, Mr. Painter. These calling lists we use are screened to make sure we are calling the right people. But based on what you've said, you could never qualify as a participant in this poll."
"Well why not? I have free time like anybody else."
"Mr. Painter. With no job, no school, no children, all you have is free time."
"But..."
"Furthermore, you are an insult to every hard working person in this country. Do you know how many people are literally killing themselves every day to make enough money to buy groceries and heat their homes? Some people are taking turns eating in the house. "It's true. I know folks who tell me things like, 'I don't eat on Tuesdays and Fridays; those are my off days.' "
Silence hung in the space between them.
"What do you think about that, Mr. Painter?"
"I think I'm glad I'm not one of 'em."
"Mr Painter, do you believe in Karma?"
"Nah. I'm not into religion. But if you were standing here in my house I'd kick the everlovin' hell out of you, you pompous asshole!"
Silence for a few beats.
"Well Mr. Painter, sometimes religion gets into you. Sometimes justice gets into you. And sometimes, when it's needed, stuff just gets adjusted all on it's own. Funny how it seems to even things out sometimes, Mr. Painter of 17 Middleton Street, 1st floor apartment with a flimsy doorknob."
Silence filled the space again.
"Are you threatening me, Mr. whatever your name is from the Gallup corporation?"
The connection fell dead and that annoying sound of the phone off the hook filled Norman's ear.
Buzzzz. Buzzzz. Norman's doorbell rang again. Buzzzz. Buzzzz.