Are You a Bricklayer?

Staring at the ocean with nothing particular to do is giving me an opportunity to think. It's an activity I'm accustomed to. I spend a lot of time in thought while driving. My three hours of commuting is so robotic, my subconscious mind takes control of the navigation and I cruise from A to B and back again.

That leaves lots of neural freedom to ponder other stuff. A recurring theme for me is 'purpose'. The questions are mostly the same. Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am I doing what I'm doing because it pays the bills? Am I doing what I love? Am I doing my best? Do I do my best every day?

Understanding purpose is a huge deal. When someone find theirs, all else becomes clear. You don't have to worry about your next steps. They are revealed naturally, like those solar, glowing pathway stones after sunset.

But what if you haven't figured out your purpose? What if you don't like answers to these questions: "What am I doing here? Why am I doing this work? Am I happy? Have I been happy in the last year? The last five?

Ever hear the story of the stone mason? Check this out:

A traveler entered a town and found herself drawn to a section where a great deal of dust and commotion was happening. She walked up to a construction yard where she came upon three masons cutting stone blocks from massive chunks of granite.

The first mason seemed unhappy at his job, chipping away and frequently looking at his watch. When she asked what it was that he was doing, the first mason responded, rather curtly, “I’m hammering this stupid rock, and I can’t wait ’til 5 when I can go home."

A second mason, seemingly more interested in his work, was hammering diligently and when the traveler asked what it was that he was doing, answered, “Well, I’m molding this block of rock so that it can be used with others to construct a wall. It’s not bad work, but I’ll sure be glad when it’s done."

A third mason was hammering at his block fervently, taking time to stand back and admire his work. He chipped off small pieces until he was satisfied that it was the best he could do. When he was questioned about his work he stopped, gazed skyward and proudly proclaimed, “I…am building a cathedral!”

Three men, three different attitudes, all doing the same job.

Are you cutting stones or building cathedrals? If you haven't found purpose, it can be difficult to be enthusiastic about what's happening at the present moment. One choice would be to begin to ask the questions that will reveal purpose. Another choice would be to wait. While waiting, you could be any of the three masons. The choices are:

• be miserable
• be diligent but uninspired
• do your best work regardless of the task at hand

  

I've reflected on this and can identify countless moments when I have been each of the masons. It's crazy how and when I make the choices I do. Mowing the grass: best work. Reading e-mail: diligent but counting the minutes until I'm done. Attending a particular meeting at work: miserable. On and on it goes. I show up differently at a variety of things though I'm still the same person.

How does it happen? State of mind. It boils down to how I feel. Feelings are produced by the quality of our thinking. Kinda tough to be inspired by something I dread. Even tougher to be miserable doing something I love. I read something recently that bears repeating. The author said that most human suffering comes from one of two places: grasping and aversion.

When you grasp something and can't let go, you fixate on it. It's hard to think of anything pleasant. You can be stuck as the first mason was. Unhappy with the present moment and doing less than his best.

When your mind desperately pushes away at something, refusing to to let it come, you're experiencing aversion. The amount of energy you spend worrying about something that hasn't happened causes anguish. And it hasn't even happened yet! Most times, the thing isn't even that bad after its over. We build things up to be awful, setting our expectations to needlessly painful levels.

Identifying when you're grasping or in aversion makes it easier to let go. Call it what it is and move on.

If you're curious about the book, send me a note and I'll give you the specifics.

A last piece of wisdom to leave with you: "Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is." Ralph Waldo Emerson