The deluge of black Friday marketing washes over us all, drenching us in a numbing torrent of sensory attacks. Everywhere one turns, there's no relief from the onslaught of advertising. Though I write this on Sunday, tomorrow looms like bastion of hope: cyber Monday. More on what Monday represents later.
Having worked in retail for the last 18 years, black Friday still continues to amaze me.
Q: What does it cost to get up early, to fight crowds, to suffer anxiety and to complain endlessly about the whole ordeal?
A: Apparently very little. For the opportunity to save a few dollars, people across the country subject themselves to physical, emotional and mental punishment, true torture. There's no other way to describe it. Some boast about getting up at 2 am to rush to wait in line and then fight the crowds to seize their prizes. But what do you really win? 20% off an item that is already marked up 150%? Maybe 250%? I'll gladly pay more to shop when I want to. It's the least I can offer to the child who made the product in an Asian sweat shop.
My brother made a comment that he would rather pay 20% more to shop his own terms. Bravo, bro. I like to save money like anyone else, but this black Friday madness is more like a staged reality show than real savings. It's more about the publicity a store stands to receive than offering consumers value. Camera crews and photographers wait amidst the shoppers, preparing to capture the misery for the upcoming newscast. People recently camped out in front of a Wal-Mart for a week to be first in line. Wal-Mart? Really?
I could see if the Mercedes dealership, Tiffany or the Louvre was having a midnight madness sale. But Kohl's, Target and JCPenney? I don't get it. All these holiday observations including the advertising, the fervor, the anxiety, the spending, the dread of seeing relatives you'd never think of calling any other time of the year. It all adds up to something. The sum is bollocks. That's bullshit for you colonists.
The spirit of hope and salvation promised by Christ's birth is mocked by the pagan ritual that has replaced the church's original intentions.
Religion disclaimer: I am by no means endorsing Christianity nor do I attend church on a regular basis. I think any objective observer would concur that the holiday has become about rewarding children for being children despite their often atrocious behavior. It's become a time for families to reunite and not always peaceably. It's become more about the best presents than the remembrance of His presence among us. You may or may not believe that the son of God came to live among humankind for the salvation of our souls.
But does any belief, insert your choice here, merit the insanity that Christmas is today? I admit to writing this in the most hypocritical fashion. You see, today I got on a ladder and strung lights across the front of my house and did some online holiday shopping. I'm no different than anyone else. I'm fully immersed in the lunacy. I just haven't figured out a way to present my arguements to my 4 and 6 year old.
Cyber Monday. No crowds. Me and a computer. Free shipping. This is the wise man's black Friday. Thank you web gods. When is your holiday?
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